We've arrived at the halfway point between conception and birth, and aside from my almost daily, completely obscure conversations with my child inside the womb, I don't know that I feel ready for our lives to be turned upside yet again, this time by something so different to previous upheavals.
After years of wanting this, after thinking it may never happen, after revelations relocations and restorations, after all of that...I just don't know.
I am excited, and I am enjoying the emotional rollercoaster because rollercoasters rock, but I still don't feel ready - and I'm not sure I really can be anyway.
I am smiling at being called daddy by friends, and overall I am feeling good about imminent parenthood, but one thing nags me.
Have I got a father's heart?
(OK - plenty more things nag me, but mainly this one thing)
"...and he will go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children..." - Luke 1:17, ESV
I watch other fathers more closely than I did. Not judging, just observing :)
I read about God's father heart. I listen to my pastor teaching about the Father's heart.
I look at the photos of my child's feet, face, arms, legs, brain, heart as they form - everything in its right place - and I realise this is a journey for me too : just as my child's heart is forming, so is a new heart within me.
