Who knew being unemployed could be so busy? I've even slacked on maintaining what has become my main blogging output these past few weeks...
There's plenty of opportunities to be totally freaked out, scared, full of fear and a whole host of other negative things as Diane & I race toward parenthood in what looks like one of the least "successful" periods of our lives.
And I'd be lying if I said my mind had all been peachy-keen these past few months. It's stupid to deny the reality of your emotions & feelings, because Jesus does His best work when we're completely open & vulnerable before Him.
In reality, in the ways that really count, we're doing much better than when it looked like we were doing well. I'm completely convinced the reason we're expecting our first child this year and not at any time during the previous 6 years is because this is where we're meant to be - mentally, spiritually.
There's something odd about becoming a parent later in life; no matter how average & normal it now may be, having your first child in your late 30s isn't really normal. I've had many conversations about how parenthood involves many eureka moments of how God sees us. Just like life before marriage, life before children kinda feels like you're missing out on something. Well, we know we've missed out on things...we're just about to find out what, huh!
But no matter what, as this daddy prepares for fatherhood and seeks to provide for his family, things that currently feel a long way off - like somewhere to live, a way of paying for that somewhere, a few other minor details (EEEKKKK!) - at the forefront of my mind is my namesake's desire to be a man after God's own heart.
For He's told me, plain as day, "seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you".
If Daddy says it, daddy would be a fool not to do it.
